


The winter of my heart

by Merlocked18



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Art, Grief, Loneliness, M/M, Mourne Mountains, Pastels, Reunions, Suicidal Thoughts, Traditional Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 07:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16551950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlocked18/pseuds/Merlocked18
Summary: Merlin goes up a mountain, fully determined never to return. A man he sees might change his mind, however.





	The winter of my heart

Merlin pressed on regardless of the ache in his chest and the weariness of his knees. He was old, so what if he fell over and became one with the scenery? It was high time that happened. Besides, no one would find him if he kept off the beaten track and lay down on the far side of the mountain to die. It was gloriously freezing for it, too. 

It was about time the fates forgot about him. 

"I trust you won't fail me this time, earth?" he menaced and in the next second he slipped on the ice, falling to his knees. "Yes!" he triumphed. His magic had done nothing to prevent his old knee from connecting with a slab of granite. 

"You are finally listening to me, are you?" Merlin hummed as he felt his knee. It smarted no end. He was probably bleeding. This boded well. 

He got to his feet, struggling for balance, and limped on up the slippery, frozen path.

He would have a great view from the top, if he got that far.

***

"Here is good," Merlin gasped raggedly and sank into a drift of snow in the shadow of a big boulder of granite. The freezing air burned his exhausted lungs. Normally his magic would automatically adjust his surroundings to suit his needs, but now it lay dormant, not moving a proverbial muscle. Merlin had to cough.

"Yes, that's it, leave me be," he rasped, trying to catch his breath, burrowing further into the drift.

"Just leave me..."

Merlin fell asleep.

***    

 

_You idiot!_

 

***

Merlin felt warm and dry. It was an altogether pleasant feeling. Nothing hurt. Nothing hurt? Why did nothing hurt? _No_ _!_

Merlin opened his eyes, dreading what he'd discover. He sat up. Without discomfort.

He felt his face. No beard.

"Fuck, what did you do?" he admonished his magic for such utter betrayal. He slumped back into the drift. He was young again. 

"Why do you do this to me, Arthur?" he whispered and curled in on himself.

Those bloody vivid dreams of Arthur always did this to him. Would he never be free?

Maybe he could throw himself off that high rock he had spied a few paces away. 

 

***

 

 

 

 The view was majestic. Merlin stood there taking it all in. His magic was humming. Merlin knew he would survive a plunge. It was pointless. His magic would not let him go, the way it was thrumming through his veins. He might as well just carry on one more day.

He had equipment, too, apparently, and hot cocoa in a thermos. He did love that sweet beverage no end. His magic knew that about him.

***

Merlin descended the mountain and knew he would have energy to climb another, so he did. He reached the summit of another beautiful Mourne mountain just as the sun was giving its last farewell to the day.

And there, on a boulder of granite, Merlin saw him. His magic surged with the absolute knowledge of who it was.


End file.
